GHOST APPEARS IN COURT

A ghostly defendant walked free from Froghill Magistrate’s Court last Monday, having been bound over to keep the peace. The ‘ghost’ was in fact none other than Emily Fanshawe, widow of wealthy industrialist Simon Fanshawe.

The court heard how, during the late autumn and early winter of last year, Ms Fanshawe had taken to donning a white nightdress and emerging before startled motorists on the Froghill to Withering road.

She was eventually arrested by Detective Sergeant Geoff Bunton, after Froghill police had received numerous reports of spooky sightings.

Said Sgt. Bunton, during his evidence to the court:

“I was proceeding down Withering Road at around 2am on the morning of November 16th, last. At precisely the spot where other drivers had reported sightings, an apparition appeared before my unmarked police car. It was wraith-like, dressed in white and waving its hands in a distracted fashion. Upon my hurriedly stopping the car, it turned and fled in the direction of Fanshawe House, to where I pursued it.

“Having gained admittance to the house, I came across Ms Fanshawe, sitting in an armchair in the library, breathing as if from some recent exertion. She was dressed in white, with her hair loosened and was wearing a child’s Hallowe’en mask. After cautioning her, I asked if she had any comment to make. She replied: ‘Whoooo!’ and then commenced giggling uncontrollably.”

In her defence, Ms Fanshawe, 92, claimed that, as at her advanced age death could not be far away, she had been “practising”. When asked by the prosecution what exactly she had been practising for, she replied: “just in case the afterlife turns out to be a bit overrated, and I choose not to go up there after all. Then I shall have learned the ropes, shan't I?”

As Froghill residents will no doubt remember, Ms Fanshawe is no stranger to the wrong side of law. In 1992, she was charged under the Marine Broadcasting Offences Act, after establishing a pirate radio station in the boathouse on Withering Pond. She told the court that she had been “protesting the lack of opera coverage by the BBC”.

On that occasion, she was given a three-month suspended sentence and fined £500.