COUNCIL SAYS ‘NO’ TO HUGE ERECTION
Froghill Council have refused planning permission for the construction of a giant cucumber outside Croxall’s Farm Shop in Swansdike Road. Proposals for the creation, which was to have been green, 50 feet tall and inscribed with the words ‘I’m sticking up for Croxall’s!’ were unanimously rejected last Friday.
Upon hearing the news, shop owner Alan Croxall told the Observer: “This is nothing short of an attack on free enterpise.
“Since the Swansdike Road was widened last year, through traffic moves even faster than it did before. People just don’t see us as they go whizzing past. Our livelihood is beginning to suffer.
“We wanted to put up the cucumber as an eyecatching means of advertising the shop and improving our business.”
Councillor Dennis Meddings, who discharged himself from the burns unit of Froghill General in order to attend last Friday's vote, had the following to say:
“This is not just about one isolated case of advertising, it’s about opening the floodgates to licentiousness. Before you know where you are, our streets will be full erect phallic symbols, polluting the minds of innocent shoppers with lewd images and base desires.
“Do I need to reiterate that sexual activity of any kind is something which is frowned upon in Froghill?”
When we politely asked about the progress of his thighs and scrotum, Councillor Meddings replied that it was none of our business. He then turned and limped away.
04/03/06 @ 08:33