WATER BOSSES MULL CLOUD HERDING
Water company bosses have revealed they intend to look into cloud herding in an effort to combat the current water shortage.
The water company announced this week that it will go ahead with the purchase of essential herding equipment in the face of dire predictions from the Met Office.
Pipes-U-Like, which serves Froghill and the surrounding area, will purchase a small airship, custom-built in the shape of a cloud, along with several muslin nets, each of which is over 10 miles long.
Walter D. Vining, chief executive of Pipes-U-Like, said: "Our current projections indicate that the situation is extremely serious. We intend to go ahead with the idea of herding, possibly bringing in clouds from northern Scandinavia.
“The airship, being disguised as a small cumulonimbus, can easily approach other clouds without arousing their suspicion,” Mr Vining went on.
“Having selected the particular clouds he wishes to herd, the ship’s pilot then gently nudges them until they drift together into a group.
“As clouds neither think nor move too quickly, it’s a fairly simple thing to snare them in the muslin nets.
"The pilot then flies them home, where their undersides are scraped with a kind of giant potato peeler. This causes them to release their load of water.”
Asked how much of the project’s cost would be borne by the consumer, Mr Vining declined to comment.
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