NATURAL BEVERAGE FESTIVAL TO BE HELD NEXT WEEKEND

Discerning drinkers and alcoholics alike will converge on St Mark’s Hall next weekend (September 2 and 3) to celebrate some of this country’s most traditional tipples.

The first ever Froghill Natural Beverage Festival kicks off on Saturday, promising a magical history tour of venerable mead and ancient brewing techniques.

The festival will feature more than 100 drinks from around the British Isles, all of which pre-date the Roman conquest.

Organiser Crispin Smethwicke, chairman of the Prehistoric Infusions and Spirits Supplied According to Nature’s Tenets Society (PISSANTS) said: “We have spent the last five years researching, making and drinking every one of the festival’s offerings.

"Every festival entry is made from 100% natural ingredients and brewed according to recipes which go back 2,000 years or more.”

One of the festival’s more unusual concoctions will be Olde Bogtrotter, a rectified spirit from Northumbria distilled from the inner ear of the pine marten.

“It’s incredibly strong,” said Mr Smethwicke, “one small glass of that and you’ll be lucky to trot anywhere, let alone find your way to the bog. Several of our members tried some last year and are now learning Braille for their pains!”

Mr Smethwicke insists however that the festival is about much more than people just getting blind drunk and bringing up their breakfast.

Among other attractions, there will be music by local band Airport Convention and a prehistoric barbecue featuring char-grilled ox dung and roasted druid’s fingers.

Most exciting of all will be the Big Buzz Challenge, a game of skill in which drinkers are blindfolded and then have to negotiate a convoluted wire with a metal hoop. The slightest touch of the hoop on the wire will send a charge of 10,000 volts through the player’s body.

“All in all the festival promises to be a great day out,” said Mr Smethwicke, “and we’re hoping this will be the first of many.

“We hope to see you there - and cheers!”