COUNCIL ORDERS MAN TO REMOVE PENIS
A homeowner in Withering has been ordered to get rid of his penis because of complaints from neighbours.
Arthur Snoad, 47, of Buckminster Close, installed the 8-foot wooden phallus in the middle of his front lawn after returning from a trip to Japan. The object is a full-scale replica of one used during a spring festival in Komaki, north of Nagoya.
But a Froghill Council enforcement notice issued last Friday states: "To have an erection on your lawn is inappropriate and detracts from the character and appearance of the local area."
It goes on to warn of stiff penalties if the offending object is not removed within 14 days.
Mr Snoad said: “I bought the phallus after witnessing the Hounen Matsuri festival while I was on holiday in Japan. It’s a fertility symbol intended to represent regeneration and renewal.
“I had it shipped home in a crate,” he added.
"The front lawn seemed the most natural place to put it,” Mr Snoad went on, “it’s a place of growth and natural abundance, after all.
“I can’t understand what all the fuss is about. It’s not as if any of those complaining have never seen a willy before. Mrs Hampton at No. 27 has, I know that for a fact.”
When asked whether he intended to comply with the council’s notice, Mr Snoad replied that an Englishman’s home was his castle and that he would stand up for what he believed to be right.
28/08/06 @ 09:09