THE CLASSIFIEDS

FOR SALE

Ant Farm. 150 acres, incl. 3-bed farmhouse and outbuildings. Folds up small enough to fit in car boot. Any reasonable offer considered. D. Ludid, 0372 49915.

Bumper Book of Irish Insults. Tell them they stink of garlic in Gaelic! Call them an arse in Erse! £1.75. R. Fockett, 446 2799.

Car Battery. Latest design from Scandinavia, almost totally flat. Still under manufacturer’s warranty. £875. Phone Ray Lyte-Dobbery, 446 2914.

Conger Eel. Housetrained, vaccinated. Eats anything, very good with children. Answers to the name of Fluffy. Call in at Rayling’s Farm, Swansdike.

Dragon's Egg. Slight crack in shell. £5. Willy Hatch, 446 2814.

Exercise Book. 200 pages, ruled with margin. Inlaid staples. Contains handwritten first draft of The Canterbury Tales. Offers? Phone Geoff Chawser on 0732 42733.

Fabergé omelette. No.6 in a limited edition of one. Great conversation piece. Phone J. Faber on 0372 42953, after 6 or at weekends.

For Sale. Car boot. £21. Also, self-adhesive rocket launcher for Daf 33 Variomatic. Unwanted birthday gift. Offers? Phone 0372 47751.

Junior Highwayman’s Outfit. Includes mask, tricorn, flintlock and balls. £65. Phone Stan Dandy-Liver, 388 7122.

Miniature Aqualung. Would suit hamster or shallow breather. Tested to five atmospheres. £350. D. Schwimmer, 0372 45518.

Othello – the fun game for all the family. Counters missing, hence low price of £250. Des D. Moner, 0372 49614.

Penny Farthing bicycle. Many extras. New baby forces sale. £125.84 ovno. Phone Vic Taurean on 388 7286.

Saturn 5 rocket. Pearl Grey with black trim. One careful owner, very economical. MoT and tax until Feb ‘07. £27.5m ono. Phone B. Aldrin on 255 6291.

Simon and Garfunkel. Veteran 60’s songsmiths, still in good working order. Might consider selling separately. Offers? Phone Cecilia on 446 2714.

Tea bag, Orange Pekoe. Fine mesh construction, extra long string. Used once only. £16.50 ono. Phone 255 6138, ask for Herb L.N. Fusion.