RESIDENTS PROTEST PROPOSALS TO CALM TRAFFIC
Residents of Froghill’s Hollybush Lane have reacted strongly to a proposed traffic calming scheme due to be implemented next year.
Froghill Council’s Highways Department plans to introduce mini roundabouts, speed bumps and a detour through a pensioner’s garden in an attempt to slow down speeding drivers.
Hollybush Lane has long been popular with homegoing students from Froghill College as a place to smoke marijuana. This has led many residents to fear that the occurrence of a serious accident is inevitable, especially as the stoned youngsters tend to walk along the white line in the centre of the road.
Local resident Tilly Banstead said: "The Council certainly needs to do something to slow down the traffic in Hollybush Lane. It’s only a matter of time before someone gets hit by a car.
“But I don’t really think it’s fair to divert the traffic through an old man’s garden,” she went on, “especially as he has a large collection of gnomes, including several dressed as Vera Lynn.”
The proposed detour would take the traffic off the road at the point where Hollybush Lane crosses Everdene Road and have it run behind the home of 89-year-old Alf Lamplighter, before rejoining the Lane some 200 metres further down.
When contacted by the Observer and asked for his reaction to the Council’s plan, Mr Lamplighter replied: “What? Cars in the garden? Never expected the Jerries to pull a trick like that. Fiendish blighters, the Jerries - you can’t trust 'em, you know.”
He then thought for a moment before asking if we might ring for the nurse to bring him some more custard.
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