HITMEN SOFT TARGET VILLAGERS
Ballistics enthusiasts and jam fanciers alike will have the opportunity to watch people being shot this weekend when a team of professional hitmen brings its travelling show to Cheetingham.
“Their show is an absolute marvel of precision shooting,” parish councillor Alston Dudley told the Observer, “but there’s one vital difference - it’s all done with soft fruit."
“I had the good fortune to witness The Sharp Fruiters in action while I was on holiday in Las Vegas,” he continued. “On that occasion several volunteers were called up onto the stage, stripped to their underpants and then riddled with loganberries. It really was a terrific piece of entertainment.
“I only hope they do the same when they come to visit us.”
Highlight of Saturday’s event promises to be the ‘Old Duck Shoot’, in which a conveyor belt carrying pensioners will pass by chief marksman Dan Manzarek, who will blow raspberries at them through a bamboo pipe.
“It promises to be a great day out,” said Mr Dudley. “Besides the main attraction there will be a large bowl of fruit punch, a car fruit sale and, for those who like their humour on the risqué side, a Punch and Fruity show. There will also be a raffle, the top prize being an autographed copy of Fruit Playing for Pleasure and Profit by James Gallbladder.
“All proceeds from the day will go towards the purchase of a new gooseberry shaver for the vestry kitchen.”
Tickets priced at £30 (adults) and £29.95 (children) are available from Mr Dudley on 503 6427 or email gratefuldud@blackmail.com
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