DEAR AMY

Something worrying you? Need to tell someone? Then why not write to Amy for advice?

MY SISTER SMELLS

I know this sounds like an old joke, but my sister smells terrible. It all started when she decided to change her diet: she became a strict rodentarian about a year ago. Since then, she has given off a powerful, musty odour which attracts cats like nobody’s business.

She mistakenly believes this is because she’s naturally good with animals, whereas actually it’s due to the fact that she smells like a dead mouse.

My sister now has a house full of cats. At the last count, she had over 200 and more keep coming all the time. I don’t know how to tell her, but I’m allergic to them and come out in a rash every time I visit her. And that’s not to mention the smell. What can I do to broach the subject?

Dominic,
Froghill

Amy writes: I sympathise, believe me. You're aware that telling your sister she stinks like vermin will hurt her. But, in the end, wouldn't not telling be even more hurtful?

You'll need to be tactful about it. One way you might approach things is to take her to a place where there are no cats – the middle of a lake or Battersea Dogs’ Home, for example - and then say something like: ‘I don’t mean to be rude, but I have something rather delicate to tell you. In short, I'm afraid you smell like a decaying rodent.’

Now I can’t predict her reaction. She may be angry, she may cry, she may disbelieve you or she may even punch you. But then again, she just might ask you for your advice.

If she does ask for advice, you can recommend that she change her diet or, if she isn’t willing to do this, that she accompany each meal with a glass of disinfectant. Domestos usually does the trick in cases such as these.

She will also need to get rid of the cats. Being the territorial animals that they are, they won’t go of their own volition. This will leave your sister no option but to burn her house down in order to get rid of them all. Now this may seem drastic, but surely it’s a small price to pay for the sake of her peace of mind?

I know it'll be difficult for both of you. But if you truly care about your sister, you'll be willing to take that risk.