HELP OLD PEOPLE BEAT THE WRAP THIS CHRISTMAS
Don't leave old folks in the car unattended.
That's the seasonal message from Froghill Constabulary who say that seating elderly relatives in the car and then leaving the engine to warm up while you return to the house means easy pickings for thieves.
A police spokesman said: "A lot of old folks get stolen at this time of year. Typically, they are snatched from cars while the driver is temporarily occupied elsewhere.
"Once stolen, old people are taken to workshops and quickly stripped of their skins. These are then made into expensive, antique-style Christmas wrapping paper. Well-wrinkled skins are much in demand and can fetch anything up to £2000 each on the black market."
Other ways you can protect your old folks this winter include:
*Ironing them each morning to remove any dermatological creases
*Having them fitted with ID chips
*Sharpening their dentures or impregnating their nails with anthrax
*Dressing them in karate uniforms
*Having wheelchairs fitted with alarm systems
*Wrapping Zimmer frames with razor wire
Anyone with information about crimes involving the elderly should phone the Froghill Constabulary on 0372 47777. All calls will be treated in confidence.
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