CAR CRUSHED BY TREE IN FESTIVE FIASCO

What a load of baubles! So thought businessman George Chittling after he switched on the lights of the town’s Christmas tree yesterday. For instead of twinkling in the twilight of Froghill Common, the 25-foot spruce fell crashing straight onto his brand-new car.

This year's tree was originally to have been illuminated by Jelli Harriwell, the former Space Girl, whose hit Scream If You Want A New Toaster sold over 40 copies nationwide.

However, due to Council reductions in the town's decorations budget, this proved impossible, so George Chittling, Froghill’s Businessman of The Year for 2002, stepped in to take the ginger star’s place.

“I’m afraid I’m not wearing my patriotic pants today,” he quipped, referring to Jelli’s trademark minidress, “but I'm proud to be a resident of this wonderful town, nonetheless.”

Then, looking out over the small crowd of people huddled together in the drizzle, he announced: “I hereby declare Froghill officially switched on for Christmas!” before pulling down the ceremonial lever.

“I was expecting all the lights to come on,” said nine-year-old Nicholas Bladen, “and for a second, they did. Then they started blinking and there was this loud fizzling noise and a smell of burning.

“Then some of the light bulbs exploded and the whole tree caught on fire. It was really cool, much better than just seeing it light up.”

The crowd watched in awe as the burning tree, bulbs popping like fireworks, swayed for a moment on its plinth. Then it keeled over with a loud creak, crashing onto the roof of Mr Chittling’s Volvo V70, which was parked just underneath.

Preliminary investigations suggest that a combination of damp weather and faulty wiring were responsible for the mishap, though this news will be of little cheer to Mr Chittling.

“The car’s a complete write-off and I’ve only had it since July,” he said, “I mean, I’ve heard of Christmas falling once a year but this is ridiculous!”