THE CLASSIFIEDS
FOR SALE
Bus Tyre. Remould. Would suit 1968 Routemaster. Unwanted Christmas gift. £65. W. Decker, 388 7443.
Duane Allman’s Underpants. Blue with red gusset. Original stains still visible. Offers? Jessica, 0372 47159.
E Coli bacteria. Undetectable in most drinks and food. Poison your friends! Great party trick! £5 per batch. Di Rhea, 446 2538.
Peruvian Black Piranha. Eats anything, good with children. Answers to the name of Fluffy. Free to good home. Call in at Raylings Farm, Swansdike.
Phantom of the Opera face mask. White, asbestos lined. Fully adjustable nasal ports. Mains or battery powered. Unwanted Xmas gift. £18.99. A.L. Webber, 0372 42539.
Rotary Toad Inflator, battery powered, choice of nozzles. £350 ono. Selwyn Froggett, 0372 46618.
Sausage Cleaner. Sucks away grime, grit and fluff. Mains rechargeable. £19.50. Chip O’Lahta, 255 6270.
Teach Yourself pig servicing. Step-by-step guide, many colour illustrations. £7.50 Bess T. Allitti, 446 2724.
White Whale, 93 feet long, eats krill and the occasional human leg. A must for your next pool party. £6,500. Capt. A. Habbe, 0372 48836.
FOR HIRE
Carpet tufts realigned. £25 per sq m. Meg Nettick-North, 388 7295.
Puzzles Solved while-u-wait. £10 per hour. Nelson Riddle, 446 2517.
Removals undertaken: home, office, appendix - you name it. £50 per day. Freddie Willingen-Abel, 0372 44189.
26/12/06 @ 09:12