ROYAL FLAT LEADS TO PENSIONER’S MUDBATH

Last Monday was a day that 75-year-old Doreen Tisley will never forget. For it was the day she got to speak to a member of the royal family.

Mrs Tisley was one of seventeen people who watched Princess Beatrix of Rutland get out to change a wheel after her Daimler Sovereign ran over a beer bottle in Crumshall Lane.

The partially-sighted pensioner, who has one leg longer than the other and walks with a Zimmer frame, stepped forward as the Princess emerged from her car and offered to help.

Mrs Tisley, who lives in the nearby sheltered accommodation, said: "She got out of the car and she was wearing a two-piece lilac suit with a matching hat. Oooh, she did look lovely.

“As she lifted up the boot I went across to her and asked if there was anything I could do. She told me to bugger off and mind my own business. It was just the way she said it, so refined. And you could smell the gin on her breath, plain as anything.”

The Princess then proceeded to hike up her skirt, squat down, jack up the car and set about changing the wheel, while the small crowd looked on admiringly.

“At one point she was having trouble with one of the wheel nuts which wouldn’t come loose,” added Mrs Tisley, “so I told her to put some WD40 on it.

“Her reply was so typical of her. She said: ‘What do you know about it, you interfering old bat?’ and then she went back to grunting and straining. She’s got real class, she has, just like all the Royals.

"I’ve seen her so often on the telly, it was really nice to get the chance to actually speak to her.”

It took the Princess about 15 minutes to get the wheel changed, after which she dumped the flat in the boot, got back into the car and accelerated away at high speed. Her wheelspin threw up a hail of mud and stones, much of which ended up all over the watching Mrs Tisley.

"No matter, I've no doubt it’ll come out in the wash,” said the senior citizen gamely. “I mean, it’s not every day you get to speak to royalty, now is it?