THE CLASSIFIEDS
FOR SALE
Airfix model of Elton Ben. 14” tall, authentic in every detail. Choice of spectacles, many of them silly. Hair missing, hence low price of £395. Daniel, 338 7251.
Fish Finger, breadcrumbed. £1.50. Also, boatload of children in pirate garb. £3,500 ono. Buyer collects. Capt. Birdseye, 446 2863.
Hot Legs, matching pair. No scorch marks, still in good working order. Might consider selling separately. Offers? R. Stewart, 0372 47714.
Hovercraft, seats two. Made in Hungary. Eels recently removed. 11 months MoT. Offers? M. Python, 0372 44853.
Light. Must be seen to be believed. There is no charge: just ask. Hal E. Louier, 255 6921.
Piece of twine. Three inches long. Brown with frayed ends. £1,500, no offers. P. Stringfellow, 446 2962.
Red Back Spider. Housetrained, vaccinated. Eats anything, good with children. Answers to the name of Fluffy. Free to good home. Call in at Raylings Farm, Swansdike.
Rotary Tongue Scraper. 12v rechargeable. Galvanised zirconium loop, mahogany handle, calibrated internal reservoir. Used once only. £15. Connie Lingus, 0372 48250.
Stairway to Heaven. Includes banisters and carpeting. Price negotiable. Ladies only. Phone 0372 41170, ask for Percy.
Teach Yourself Intestinal Winding. Indispensable step-by-step guide for seppuku enthusiasts. Many colour illustrations. £7.45. Harry Kirry, 446 2612.
FOR HIRE
Children’s entertainer. Can sing, dance, walk backwards, rub groin. 100% safe. Ideal for slumber parties. Rockin’ Robin Jackson, P.O. Box 24415, Bahrain.
Removal Service. No job too big or too small. £25 per hour. Orson Kart, 0372 47731.













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28/01/07 @ 15:19