YOUNG LOVERS’ BOOTS ARE BOOTY FOR THIEVES
Police today warned youngsters parking in the ‘lovers lane’ area of Traubert’s Heath to be on their guard against car boot thieves.
The recent spell of warm weather has seen a sudden increase in boot theft, with young lovers who park in secluded areas having the whole rear section of their vehicles stolen.
A police spokesman said: "Car boots are usually stolen during the spring and summer months. Typically, they are quietly unbolted while the car's occupants are otherwise engaged, perhaps in trying to find a comfortable position or in disentangling themselves from the gear stick.
"Once stolen, these items are farmed out to car boot sales up and down the country, where they are snapped up by professional car thieves. Typically, the boots will be grafted onto stolen vehicles to disguise their identity.
“Mint condition boots are much in demand and can fetch anything up to £2000 each on the black market."
Ways that you can protect your car boot while fornicating in the woods include:
*Filling it with concentrated nitric acid
*Connecting the hinges to your ankle with a piece of string
*Keeping a small crocodile strapped onto the inside of the lid
*Drawing a scary picture of a monster on your rear bumper in luminous pen
*Rigging up a machine gun so that it fires when the lid is opened
*Making love on a bicycle
Anyone with information about crimes involving car boots should phone the Froghill Constabulary on 0372 47777. All calls will be treated in confidence.
http://poppycock.blog.co.uk/
30/01/07 @ 09:56