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From the pages of the Froghill Observer

by tadpoles @ 2007-03-22 - 05:18:42

COUNCIL SLAMMED IN ‘BRING OUT YOUR DEAD’ ROW

Froghill Council has sparked fury over a decision requiring relatives to personally remove the bodies of their loved ones from Fulton Road cemetery.

The council, which manages the cemetery, has written to more than 400 people asking them to empty their plots by the end of the month.

Officials claim that the cemetery is overfull and that the bodies “give the place a morbid air and make it smell a bit funny.”

But one woman, who has been ordered to remove members of her family from a mausoleum dating back to the late eighteenth century, spoke out against the council’s decision, calling it ‘irresponsible’.

Dolly Aitken, 61, a professional midget teaser of Stonechat Road, Traubert’s Heath, said: "I think the Council’s decision is totally irresponsible. There are 24 members of my family buried in that cemetery. I mean, I haven’t even got a shovel.

“And whatever am I to do with all those bones?"

When contacted by the Observer, Froghill Council confirmed that people had been asked to remove the mortal remains of their relatives from the cemetery.

However, deputy clerk Sue Foster refused to comment on rumours that the Council is in fact planning to develop the Fulton Road site as a theme park.

When questioned about Mrs Aitken and what she might do with her bones, Ms Foster replied that she had absolutely no idea.

"Perhaps she might consider buying herself a dog," she added.

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