YES! OH, MY GOD! IT’S TOM!

Meet Tom Bowler, a man with an unusual and satisfying job. For 36-year-old Tom is this country’s one and only bedroom vocaliser.

Tom, of Bessels Close, Withering, makes his living by standing in a corner of the bedroom and supplying the passionate noises for shy couples while they make love.

“Before this, I used to be a ventriloquist,” said Tom, “and, as the climax of my stage act, I would have my dummy simulate an orgasm.

“The audience’s reaction to this was unfailingly ecstatic, and, after a while, it occurred to me that I was tapping into something far deeper than simple recognition.”

So Tom put an ad in the window of Veejay's News, offering his services to couples who wanted their lovemaking to be more raucous but were too embarrassed to do it for themselves.

“I got over 50 responses in one week alone,” said Tom, “and I set up my ‘Second Coming’ company soon afterwards.”

Typically, Tom’s job involves a lot of night work. He will usually be hired by a couple to stand behind the curtains and throw his voice, projecting the ‘Yes, yes!', ‘Oh, my God!’ and ‘You’re so good!’ ejaculations in the direction of the bed.

The vocal repertoire he perfected for his ventriloquism act allows him to effortlessly 'do' the voices of both partners.

Then, after the couple has achieved climax, Tom will surreptitiously tiptoe from the room, picking up his £175 fee on the way out of the house.

“It’s usually put in a plain envelope and left on a table in the hallway,” said Tom.

Tom has been plying his trade in and around the Froghill area for the last five years and now has it off to a fine art.

“It’s like anything else, really," he said modestly, "you just need to keep your hand in and practice regularly.”

And all that practice has clearly paid off. When asked for a demonstration of his skills, Tom was able to mimic Councillor Meddings' wife achieving orgasm in a very convincing and highly amusing fashion.