CLOWNS STRIKE AGAIN
The second clown attack in less than a fortnight took place yesterday evening in the gentlemen’s conveniences on Froghill Common.
This time the victim was unemployed gigolo Rudi Bitz, who entered the facility around 7pm and went into one of the cubicles.
“I always stop at the conveniences during my evening walk,” said 28-year-old Mr Bitz, “they’re so clean and they have very good mirrors.
“I’d just shut the door and sat down when this white, gloved hand came over the top of the cubicle wall. It was holding a candy-striped walking stick. I was so astonished I literally couldn’t do anything.
“I just sat there – talk about a rabbit in the headlights!"
The handle of the stick was deftly looped around Mr Bitz’ neck and then, with one sharp motion, it was pulled upwards, yanking him to his feet.
“Well, I’ve certainly never been jerked like that in a public toilet before,” said Mr Bitz, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Then the cubicle door burst open and a clown waddled in. I just couldn't believe my eyes. He stood there looking at me for a moment and then his hair stood on end.
“Then he started laughing hysterically and pushed a custard pie in my face. I was so gobsmacked that I just stood where I was, with my trousers and pants around my ankles, while he and his friend ran away.”
Anyone with information on either of the recent attacks should phone Froghill Constabulary’s special Clownline on 0372 45678. All calls will be treated in confidence.
http://poppycock.blog.co.uk/
30/04/07 @ 11:07