LOCAL ROBOT GETS NOSEY

A remote-controlled automaton, built by a Froghill man in his spare time, looks set to revolutionise the practice of nasal barbering.

Resembling something from TV’s Robot Wars, the invention, the brainchild of Hieronymus Bush of Withering Road, is designed to safely trim and remove excess nostril hair. The ingenious device even has an onboard camera, allowing its user to target everything from stubborn clumps to individual follicles.

“The act of manually trimming nasal hair has remained essentially unchanged for the past 400 years,” said 52-year-old Mr Bush, who has applied for a patent for his machine, “but not for much longer.

"My creation, the Nasal Interior Trimmer With Integral Tweezers - or NITWIT for short - will put an end to the misery of conventional plucking. No more watering eyes, no more screaming and no more ugly grimacing in the bathroom mirror,” he added.

The invention, which cost Mr Bush £37.12 to develop, is a combination of a battery-operated toy car with two stick blenders and a digital camera gaffer-taped onto it. The whole thing is operated with a remote control handset.

“I’ll admit that NITWIT is not yet perfect,” said Mr Bush, speaking to the Observer from the Lacerations unit of Froghill General, “but none of the greats got it right first time.

“One of John Logie Baird’s early television sets exploded and severely injured his pet cat Hamish, for example.

“And it is a little-known fact that a prototype rotary washing line revolved so quickly that it bored two miles into the Earth’s crust before it could be stopped.”